Right undertakes subliminal blitz campaign

I have learned from a source beyond reproof that a secret commitee has been called by executive order to intercept media before publication and insert subliminal messages: images in films, cyphers in text media, and sub-aural screams and dialogues in radio and music. My informant passed many of these messages along to me - they are reassuring, and some of them follow.

THE SUN SHINETH AND THE RAIN FALLETH ON BOTH THE RIGHTEOUS AND THE LIBERAL

THE RED SCARE WAS THE FAULT OF THE INDIANS, AND WE DIDN'T SCARE THEM ENOUGH

Listen up, stinko-man: if all your absolutes are belong to Sith, why are Jedi make absolute saying this absolute? Jedi say all Sith must die - so absolute! Why Jedi say absolutes bad? If so then all your everything are bad, because Obi-Wan say absolute bad but make absolute self him say by saying!! This Lucas never say!! Maybe Jedi bad for Lucas? When Yoda say: "Maybe we understand all prophecy wrong." Lucas, what you are saying! Is Lucas not see absolutes of Obi-Wan? If absolute make Anakin bad like robot, why not Obi-Wan if bad absolute like Sith then bad like robot, too? Why Vader fight like robot all evil, and Obi-Wan fight like man all good? Are Lucas want fight like good man or like evil robot?? If bad Vader say all your good are all evil and Vader destroy all good, and good Obi-Wan say all your evil are all evil but not destroy all evil, when is good win over evil? Good let evil kill all good forever end of time and then blink and fuzzy happy bye-bye but forgive??!! And still, why Obi-Wan not see self-same absolutes then think himself bad? If all your absolute are no absolute what are your absolute? Every absolute! And if every absolute all your absolute, Obi-Wan do everything what everyone say and not destroy evil, Obi-Wan programmed, Obi-Wan is robot, not Vader! Vader think by self against what others say, and Obi-Wan think by what everyone say! Vader not robot but thinking all by self, whatever others say, but Lucas say Vader all bad robot! Then Lucas say Vader sometime future good, while Obi-Wan maybe sometime good but not destroy bad unless Luke child of immaculate robot-child make all good by programing father Vader robot not to be robot? If Obi-Wan robot make highest hero for Lucas, is Lucas say that all your non-absolute every good like program all everyone for everything? Then everyone all program everyone and all absolutes again like making nothing where all your absolutes are absolute against themselves! That why all people make everything but not do anything, so no one say destory evil like good men and not like robot who not fight when people say no war? What are you think is message, Artoo??!!

ALL YOUR ABSOLUTES ARE BELONG TO REPUBLICAN JEDI

ABSOLUT WRONG SITH LIBERAL

LIBERTY IS 'CUZ LIBERTY DONE GOT VINDICTIFIED

'CUZ YOU LIBERALS TOLERATIN' ALL, YOU IS WHAT YOU AIN'T

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT IS WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW

And so on..